Skip to product information
$8.99
🔒 SSL Secure Checkout
🚚 Fast U.S. Shipping
🇺🇸 Printed in the USA
🚚 FREE Shipping on orders $50+
🔥 Limited quantities — ships in 1–2 days
The official Dustin Sims beverage protector — engineered for bad decisions, cold drinks, and zero accountability.
Keeps your beer cold while your life choices stay hot and questionable.
Perfect for parties, tailgates, lake days, breakups, makeups, and any moment you really shouldn’t be left unsupervised.
This koozie says everything you’re thinking so you don’t have to.
Cheap. Stupid. Hilarious.
Add it to your cart before you sober up.