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For the bold, the reckless, the unmedicated, and the chronically unsupervised.

Certified Public Menace Hoodie

This is the official uniform for people who can’t be taken anywhere without causing a scene. Clean look. Loud message. Zero apologies.

• Heavy enough for winter – warm as hell without feeling bulky.
• Stupid soft inside – perfect for napping after terrible decisions.
• Minimalist design – big block letters that say exactly what you are.
• Unisex fit – works for menaces of all shapes and genders.
• Printed on LANE7 LS14001 – premium fleece pullover, not gas-station junk.

Where to Wear It

• Walmart runs when you’re already on thin ice
• Dates where you pretend to behave
• Court (if your lawyer has a sense of humor)
• Family gatherings where you are the problem

Fit & Size Guide (True to Size)

General fit:
– True to size for a regular fit
– Go up one size if you like it baggy
– Go up two if you’ve got full menace dad-bod energy

Why People Love It

• Makes you look 20% funnier just by walking in the room.
• Gets you side-eyed in public in the best way possible.
• Perfect gift for the certified menace in your life.