Merch Your Mama Hates
Official Dustin Sims gear.
Shop Now, Regret Later

Bundle Your Bad Decisions

Any 2 tees for $50 or 3 for $70. Because therapy is expensive.

Fan Favorites

Offended? Perfect.

Offended? Perfect.

$29.95
$29.95
World Needs More Bad Influences

World Needs More Bad Influences

$29.95
$29.95
Who the Fuck Is Dustin Sims?

Who the Fuck Is Dustin Sims?

$29.95
$29.95
Fuck Your Feelings

Fuck Your Feelings

$29.95
$29.95
Little Dick, Big Energy.

Little Dick, Big Energy.

$29.95
$29.95
Waffle House Brawl Champ '03

Waffle House Brawl Champ '03

$29.95
$29.95
Join 1,500,000+ fans who've already decided to give zero fucks. Wear this shit to church, court, or family dinner.. you won't.

Freshly Cooked Chaos

Praying for All You Hoes

Praying for All You Hoes

$29.95
$29.95

Chaos Essentials

Hold my Shit - Tote

Hold my Shit - Tote

$19.95
$19.95

What the People Say (Because Y'all Are Funnier Than Me Sometimes)

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“My mother-in-law stopped talking to me after I wore this shirt. Best $30 I ever spent. 10/10, would buy again.” – Tyler from Mississippi

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Finally a hoodie that makes me look like the public menace I truly am. Even the gas station clerk called me ‘sir.’” – Jessica, probably drunk

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Pastor said I need Jesus. I said I need another one of these mugs. Guess who was right.” – Anonymous sinner

Buy Now, Sin Later